Today I'm diving right into the one thing performers and business owners have to deal with over and over again. Imposter Syndrome. You may be wondering… What's imposter syndrome? Do I have it? Will imposter syndrome knock me off my path or can I actually USE it to fuel my success.
First of all…
Imposter syndrome exists.
It is a HUGE part of pursuing a creative career or building a business.
I've noticed… that Imposter Syndrome is often triggered by real life incidents. It's based in something that we see as “proof” that we are “less than”
When I first started helping others to use video in their business I had a few not so nice people make some not so nice comments on my videos. (Now I know that was a sign that I had made it… but it was a little hard to process back then. LOL)
I was reminded of just how tricky it can be when someone turns down an offer or flat out criticizes what you felt was some of your best work.
It was a perfect example of one of those moments that can cause your Imposter Syndrome gremlins to creep up.
So… In an effort to help you know you aren't alone… posted this little video about the 3 MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS ON FACEBOOK LIVE.
It was a funny video where I shared real Live Video Fails… warning others so they could avoid these mishaps. I also mention a Facebook Live Master Class in the video. (Which you can still sign up for.) The video had a great response. Loads of views, comments and likes etc.
WHAT!? For reals?
YOU HAVE A LISP AND YOU NEED TO SEE ME!!!???
YOU ARE SPEAKING WAY TO FAST TO TEACH A MASTERCLASS!! (Someone sent me this amazing article which made my YEAR)
FIX YOUR LIPSTICK???
As you can see… I refrained from going off, like some might have. When I shared this on my personal Facebook Page… it created quite a stir. SOOO I decided I also needed to address the topic of HATERS.
Haters will cause your imposter syndrome to flair up BIG TIME.
You can jump into the live convo by clicking the video below… or read on for the full story.
I came up with a way for you to LOVE the ickiness that comes up with Trolls or Imposter Syndrome in 4 easy steps! I explain in the video… and I'll write it out below. It's called the FFTT method. It helps if you say it just like that… FFTT and move your hand like you are saying SHH! It feels good too. LOL!
Here is how to overcome Imposter Syndrome in 4 easy steps:
Face It: Recognize oh, yeah – there is actually something that happened that makes me feel small, or icky, or bummed, or even angry.
Feel It: Allow yourself to go into the negative, bummer, less than, comparisonitus.
Twist it: As yourself… “How can I turn this into a positive?” How I can turn this into a positive? Again and again and again. Sometimes I'll also ask… How can I use this as a teaching moment to help others?
Thank it: Once you twist it… thank it! Be GRATEFUL for the opportunity to GROW!
This made me realize that my commitment to positivity in the face of disaster is something I've been working on for a LONG time.
If you are a member of our community, you may remember this HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING story….
Imagine that you are at an audition for the entire creative staff of a huge Broadway show. The room is filled with 36 dancers who are all “triple threats.”
They are stellar singers. They are astounding actors. They are super fierce dancers.
And, there’s YOU!
That alone is a lot to take in.
The choreography is perfect for you stylistically. You have this callback in the bag. The choreographer explains that there is an 8 count of improvisation in the middle of this dance combo. He wants you to pretend like you are a “USO dancer in the 1940’s dressed in a turkey costume.” (Yes, you read that right.) After you get over the initial shock, you get that bubbly excited feeling in your chest, you know you got this!
When it comes you kick your face and exclaim Bkak! Bkak! Thrusting your chest like a turkey. Each time you give a good old proud turkey chest thrust. Slowly, you begin to realize that the 1940’s vintage top you had worn to the audition feels a liiiitle looser than it did when the audition started. You look down and to your terror your shirt has completely ripped open, leaving you exposed not only to the 36 triple threats, but also to the full creative team (director, casting dir, choreographer)! These people potentially held your next career move in their hands and you've just flashed them!! What do you do? In the split second you have a choice to make. You can…
A. Scream and run out of the room never to be seen again.
B. Laugh uncontrollably mortified and unable to finish the dance combination.
C. Cover your chest and give that number the best energy you've got. Standing with confidence accepting the fact that everyone in that room is mortified for you so you don't need to be mortified yourself!
What would you do?
Well, I can tell you what I did. When this happened to me at an audition for South Pacific on Broadway. Oh yeah, lucky me! Wait… seriously though, lucky me!! I took a split second pause and decided I'm gonna keep going. I not only finished the combination with more pizazz than I've ever given any dance combination EVER, when we were able to end in our own pose, I went straight to the splits and gave it a big TADA!! I thought to myself, if there is ever ever a time I'll get a call back, this is it!!
Sadly, this is what was called the required call. So no one got a call back. Ha! (Broadway shows are required by the Actors Equity Union to hold periodic auditions, so that AEA members are able to be seen.) However, when I went to an audition for the same casting director a few months later, you had better believe I reminded her of the story. I walked in and said “Hi, I am Molly Mahoney, the girl whose top ripped at the South Pacific audition!” She instantly threw her hands in the air screamed for joy and told me it was one of her most favorite audition moments to date.
That was the perfect proof in my positivity pudding!
Resilience my friends! You can’t beat it. I have SO MANY stories like this. Moments when I’ve fallen or I’ve seen someone fall, and been amazed by the recovery. If you can really thank the universe for the moments when you call and celebrate on the way up. You will put yourself in a position to succeed.
We are all going to fall at some point, we might as well make it count.
So, here’s your assignment. Practice falling! Get out and try something new, goofy and maybe even a little embarrassing. Get a resilience buddy and challenge each other! The only way to build your resilience is to get out there and put it to the test. (Which is one of the reasons I love Facebook Live!)
And finally – use Video on Social Media Platforms as a way to practice putting yourself out there! Join me for a Free Live Video Master Class!
I love your spirit! You have to be resilient and just go with the flow and have a good laugh for years to come…sometimes!
Thank you!! Agreed!
I saw the video of your three most embarrassing things.. it was engaging, funny and I enjoyed it…… looking forward to the master class, but there is one thing.. I would have absolutely LOVED to see the look on your face when you realized the phone was shooting video up your skirt! You can’t buy that stuff!! thanks
Hahaha! OMG! Great idea! I’ll take a screenshot! ; p
OMG, I’ve never in all my years of trying to put a business together online felt more confident that my time is just around the corner. I feel like Molly keeps me in check. I can not finish a FBlive video and continue to be in a funky mood. She puts a smile on my face every time and I stand tall and continue on when a few minutes prior I was ready to give up. Molly’s smile is contagious and her energy is inspiring. Yes she talks fast but she has a lot to teach and if she didn’t talk fast it would take forever with all the golden nuggets she gives away. Molly you’re magnificent. ~ Donna The Crazy Caregiver (Donna Harris)
Lol Molly! You are so funny and you write so well. I loved that you made me laugh so early in the morning. What a great way to start the day! I also believe in being positive. I choose happiness and a good laugh over sadness and a good cry any day unless I am at a good chick flick movie! Then let’s go for it. Kudos to you Mary Mahoney! Keep up the good work and slow down on the flashing unless of course you prefer “shock tactics!” You have a wonderful day Mary!
Ha! I love it! Thank you for sharing Laurie! So glad you appreciated the joy!